Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Grave Marker Update

I am happy to say that the great Grave Marker Mix-up of 2011 has been resolved!

We e-mailed my blog post to the cemetery so they would better understand the impact of this seemingly innocent mistake, my mom called their office so they would understand how upset we were, and they called me multiple times to apologize.  

After two days of trying to figure out what had happened and how it was going to be fixed, the cemetery called to say that Eleanor's permanent marker was scheduled for delivery on December 2, and that they placed a temporary marker on her grave in the meantime.  I went to see it as soon as I could, and it was very special.  Tears came to my eyes--the temporary marker seems very real, and I loved seeing her name as much as I thought I would!

I decided to be a big girl and thank the office employees in person for their thought in putting up a temporary monument.  I approached their building and their door opened for me by a woman who said, "Hello, Mrs. O'Brien." as if she'd been waiting for me!
She is the cemetery director, and explained why the mix-up happened.  She has only been with the cemetery for three years, and, in that amount of time, Eleanor is the first infant they have buried.  Infant markers are ordered in a different way than adult markers, but nobody had been around long enough to know that! She had processed Eleanor's paperwork just as they would any other, and were as surprised as we were that the order had never gone through.  To make matters worse, the company that produces the markers had just changed the markers they offer and their computer system hadn't yet turned around to process orders from the new stock.  Because of this, her marker wasn't able to be rushed ordered once it did, eventually, go through.  

Everyone there was so upset about this mistake! They have lots of empathy and respect for us, and the special gravesite service we held was really meaningful to them.  They just hated that, of anybody, this had to have happened to us.  

I was still upset about the mixup, but very glad to have seen them in person, cried together, and hear the full story of what happened and their heartfelt apologies.  

Here is the temporary marker:


  1. I'm so glad everything is getting resolved. Thinking of you!

  2. It's beautiful, Susannah. It's like putting out a flag at a new house. I'm curious to see what you've chosen for her permanent marker, although I agree--this hardly looks like a temporary fix!



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