A giant smile spread across my face on Jan. 1 (despite the all-day travel from Jackson, WI back to Greensboro). I am shedding 2011 like a snake's old skin and welcoming in a gleaming new 2012 with open arms.
This is not a surprise to me, but still very comforting. After Eleanor's birth I knew many things would continue to be difficult: the birth of my sister's triplets two weeks later, setting her grave marker, her due date, and Christmas, but, now that those things have passed, I am truly ready to move on. A light switch has come on and I realize that, though her birth date may be troublesome for years to come, there are no more significant reminders of our loss on the calendar. I will continue to think of her often, but it will be on my terms and without the shroud of expectation and disappointment or confusion.
Yes, this is the year to move on!
Here is my new favorite song (just ask Ben-- I've been playing or singing it almost non-stop for about two weeks), which moves me to tears because my feelings have been so adequately expressed, once again, in music:
(How do you like that, Jessica?)
Though the year was overshadowed by the loss of our daughter, we were still blessed in many ways we will always be grateful for. We are older and wiser, have more love than we ever expected, and so many rising suns on our horizon.
Thanks for joining us on this road, and help us celebrate new beginnings!