Exactly 5 weeks after receiving the news of our daughter's death at my 26-week midwife appointment, I had my post-natal check up.
I was pretty anxious in waiting for this appointment. I wanted to hear that my body was healing (healed), so we could "officially" move on and look to the future. We have even been adding to our family prayers that the appointment would go well, and that the midwife I'd see would be inspired to give us the best advice for having more children. I specifically scheduled to be seen on a day when the midwife who delivered the terrible news to us originally, Waledah, would be in the office so she could see how well we are handling it, and how ok we are (she had been pretty shaken up to report a stillbirth to us. It was the first their practice had seen, and everyone there was really upset about it.) When I was back in the exam room I heard that Waledah had called in sick, and was being covered by another midwife. That midwife, Dierdre, told me exactly what I'd wanted and prayed so fervently to hear! (
I wonder if Waledah asking for her shift to be covered by Dierdre was inspired by The Lord. Would Waledah have given me different advice, and He knew that wasn't best or intended for me?)
Dierdre also talked to me about our decision to not have an autopsy performed on Eleanor. We have no physical evidence of what caused her stillbirth, which is something I explained we are satisfied with due to our spiritual understanding. I told her I wasn't interested in obsessing over the "whys" and driving from specialist to specialist, but she explained that just a few blood tests could give us a lot of answers, or at least rule out some important options.
Since Eleanor is the first stillbirth they have experienced, they have never recommended these blood panels before. Dierdre knew what she wanted to test, but not the codes or details, so she got on the phone with a blood specialist. She explained to the nurse, Lora, who had to look up additional codes for my bloodwork papers from a specific test-indication book. They sent me to the lab downstairs to get the blood drawn, who
also had to call around to know exactly what to do! Hahahahaha... I really did think it was a funny sort of hub-bub to find myself in! I'm glad though, that they are building their repetoir of how to handle a situation like mine, and maybe if it occurs again they will all know exactly how to handle it because they could go through a trial run with me. Everyone in this practice knows and really cares about me, which is very obvious with how caring and thorough they always are in our meetings. I feel really taken care of, which is so important!
She sent me downstairs to the hospital lab, who preceded to take about 15 vials of blood for about 6 different tests to rule out an immune disorder, thyroid, and lupus.
I just laughed when I saw her pull out all these different blood vials!
I won't post the picture of them filled with blood, but, boy, did I want to lay down when she was done!
I gave so much blood that they had to cover the spot with this heavy-duty bandage.
It happens to be purple.
I kept it on until I went to the post office. The mailman actually asked if I was supporting something!
"Yes. Donatello. And giving blood."
The lab clinic had lots of beautiful puzzles framed on the wall, and this puzzle of Christ was hanging across from the blood-drawing chair. I really loved seeing a picture of Christ in a public hospital!
It was nice to remember Christ when going through something hard, and receiving some comfort in a hospital. No matter how much blood I gave, He gave more!
We'll have the results back sometime next week. It would be great to rule out as much as possible to rest our minds for the next pregnancy, but, if something is found, that would be comforting, too, and very treatable!
So keep your fingers crossed... that the results are.... negative.... or.... positive.... whatever....