Sunday, April 18, 2010

Don't tell me not to put up solar panels because it messes with your "TV reception"!!

In the words of Kevin via Dwight, "I'm really mad."

Friday night our good friend, Melissa, came over to see our apartment. We were all feeling in need of a little pick-me-up, so it was my (Susannah) idea to take our longboards to the mall across the street and "skate our sillies out".

Meet Melissa.

Missy and I are pretty new to this, and it was a great longboarding site. The parking lot is huge with random cement islands where we could practice turning, the pavement was pretty smooth, and, since it closed at 9 pm and this was around 10 pm it was almost completely deserted.

Melissa and I had tons of fun, and it really helped us both get out of whatever funk we'd been in. Good old fashioned fun.

Or so we thought.

Someone disagreed.

After almost an hour a Jeep Wrangler pulled up to Melissa and Ben and some man told them the mall was private property and we weren't allowed to skate there. He even flashed Ben some "Playschool security badge." (his words, not mine.)

I didn't hear him. I wisely stayed away. Wise move because he really angered me, and it probably wouldn't have helped the situation if I'd crossed him.

See, since the mall is "private properety" we could potentially sue the owners if we'd gotten hurt while longboarding. I understand, then, why they are reluctant to have a "reckless" sport take place on their grounds.


A) Would we, or anyone, actually sue the mall if we'd gotten hurt? Is that plausible?
B) That also means no biking is allowed.
C) Are we not allowed to walk, either?

In short, are you, Mr. Playschool Policeman, trying to tell me that I am not allowed to longboard, bike, walk, or rollerskate to the mall that is 1/10 mile away from my apartment? Am I, then, forced to drive my gasoline-powered-one-passenger-toting-chemical-emitting-vehicle when choosing to stimulate our economy and provide money for your paycheck by shopping at the mall where there are no signs discouraging longboarding or advertising "private property"?

Are you going to tell me I can't support our local organic food store or be vegetarian, too, just in case I get sick from lack of "animal protein" and sue Earth Fare? (which you really should check out, by the way.)

Have you ever heard of Al Gore?!?!?! Or my rights as an American to live the lifestyle (environmentally friendly) I choose?


Don't even try to say that I'm off-base because we were only stopped from longboarding late at night, as many so-called "ruffians" have been known to do. That's beside the point. I don't want to hear it. We weren't hurting anybody; we weren't even skateboarding! We were just "going from one place to the other"!

How many times did I use quote marks in this post?

                                                                                   Sing it, sister.


  1. Hahahaha you crack me up! I think we should longboard at the mall more often...maybe wear disguises so he doesn't know it's us everytime!


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